Real. So yesterday was a "glam-shot" that I liked of myself... and I don't get all dressed up and glamorous so often. That was a rare moment. Today I'm doing the opposite. Took a picture right when I got up and decided to really LOOK at my face. Pulled "the hair" back so that couldn't be the focus, and just used plain old HB pencil on paper. More raw.
Image: Self Portrait, HB pencil on paper
I have always loved to draw faces, but not my own. In college I remember one particular day where I was sitting at lunch, sketched a friend, and then like three more people said "sketch me!" which I then happily did with colored crayons. Other people's faces are interesting. I've always loved drawing women, and especially for the fantasy women I used to paint more of, always went to magazines and shots of "beautiful" women to use. I still do. I think that is a way of allowing myself to see the beauty in me that I haven't been able to see... other faces are mirrors. All of our relationships to people, pictures, things... are mirrors for ourselves.
I look at my face and I don't see anything that extraordinary... really... I just see a plain old face. No high cheekbones, no gorgeous almond-shaped eyes, no beautiful defined jawline. I guess the plain old me is *gasp* boring. I prefer to embellish, add an energetic quality, and play with features, shapes, and lines. I've spent SO much time in my art life drawing things "realistically" that doing plain old real drawings like this just don't interest me anymore.
“I wanted to do at least one like this for my challenge with "me," though. I might do another one, but I guess I'll decide that in the next 26 days..."
Now for some love...
what do I actually LIKE about my face? I have a fun kind of crooked smirk when I smile. I have eyes that say a LOT and can be very mischievous... they are definitely very Irish/Scottish fairy "I know secrets" kind of eyes. Hahaha. 🤣 The family "Hawkins" nose... I don't know. It just is what it is. Doing this pencil portrait definitely helped me soften up a bit towards how I feel about my own appearance, and added some love 😍
"...the healing comes from our own self image, and the ideas of what we know about who we are. What are we willing to do to become something or someone who is expanded. Chiron in Aries can be really attached to some form of the personification of the ego. It's really meant to be this self-initiated warrior who is leading the charge of a self revolution, and self revelation, because these parts of ourselves get revealed to us as we continue to go through life, grow, and change, and experience opportunities. Chiron in Aries is showing us where the dysfunction of our identity is actually causing a dysfunction inside of our bodies, minds, souls. This is all giving us the change to change the perception of our reality! Healer heal thyself and move past the wound... and into the superpower!"
—thoughts from the new moon in Aquarius report, Sun Soul Astrology